January 2009
“There is no sin. There is no hell where we’ll be sent. There’s only...”
– Okkervil River
Let's break it in. Bout to go out. Bout to get...
Here we go.
My kickass sister and I are going to pick up our dad from the airport now. He doesn’t know she got her lip pierced so this might be a rocky ride home. I’m pretty pumped to see the guy even though we don’t really get along.
USA is running an Elf marathon today. This is...
My Year In Lists - Los Campesinos!
Have a good...
i want to take a trip to TJ, for fucks sake.
mostlymelissa:
i fucking hate insurance and refilling my presciptions.
Apparently I’m going to Rosarito tomorrow. Come on.
Resolve
Just because it’s a new year tomorrow is shitty excuse to get my shit together. But, none the less, it gives you a kick in the ass. So in the spirit of tradition I have one resolution so far, maybe more to come.
Film A Light Has Gone Out which will become my love letter to E. Then write her a love letter. And win the war.
Ok, so that’s like 3 resolutions technically. But- suck it.
“I don’t have sex with people I do business with neither
and that’s...”
– DE LA SOUL FTHS (For The HELL YES)
“Oh poopy couch. Always pooping. Poopy poop poop.”
– Alan. (via girlinport)
(I have absolutely no recollection of saying this thus I believe this to be a straight up lie.)
“Smash some tits- Fuck 2008.”
– Alan’s quote from last year, revised. (via brynnherman)
December 2008
Me: The Kleins! They're Jewish.
Jordan: Ok Alan. Glad your Jewdar is working today.
boyz r dum.
Guy I met: Ok, be my wingman. I'm sorry, I mean wing-woman.
Me: I'm here for you, bro.
Guy: I think that girl over there is super cute. What should I do?
Me: Go over there!
Guy: Ok, ok. What do I say?
Me: Just say "Hi, my name is Steve. You're super cute. Here's my number."
Guy: NO WAY. Dude, that'll never work. I need a smooth line or something.
Me: I hope you like being single.
-----------------------------------------
Wait, this works?
New obsession
spareunderthemat:
lieslieslies:
Sometimes you get drunk and feel the need to yell things at people from cars as you drive by (in the passenger seat, not driving drunk). Well what do you say to teenagers hanging out in parking lots at 11 pm? I used to tell them to ‘do a kickflip!’ regardless of them having a skateboard. My new favorite, however, is brilliant. It makes me laugh and it baffles...
New obsession
tipsy:
lieslieslies:
Sometimes you get drunk and feel the need to yell things at people from cars as you drive by (in the passenger seat, not driving drunk). Well what do you say to teenagers hanging out in parking lots at 11 pm? I used to tell them to ‘do a kickflip!’ regardless of them having a skateboard. My new favorite, however, is brilliant. It makes me laugh and it baffles the shit out...
Srsly
Me: Oh my god Fox Mulder is so hot. Isn't he?
Natalie: He knows a lot of stuff.
Me: Yeah. He's smart and he's really good looking. Would you fuck him?
Natalie: I guess.
Me: Plus he's a Jewwwwwwwwwww!
But, really, no joke, Dana is the real fox. Sometimes I have to turn off the X-Files because she gets me so gawked.
New obsession
Sometimes you get drunk and feel the need to yell things at people from cars as you drive by (in the passenger seat, not driving drunk). Well what do you say to teenagers hanging out in parking lots at 11 pm? I used to tell them to ‘do a kickflip!’ regardless of them having a skateboard. My new favorite, however, is brilliant. It makes me laugh and it baffles the shit out of...
I apologize now for all the posts to follow. I'm...
Free Metro rides on New Year's Eve in L.A. area... →
seafolk:
(via blairports)
blair, im hapy to know youve got your designated driver lined up for tonight….drink your drunky heart out bro.
All my followers are super babes. Just sayin.
spitintheocean:
Happy 2thousand9, ladies and gentlemen! I’m going to start drinking soon and will not be cognizant enough to wish you such at the stroke of midnite. Also, I’m taking a tumblr break. Until next year, at least.
Come over right now.
christinahaberkern:
lieslieslies:
Kind of creepy but the girl I was trying to do work with all last night looked just like Christina. I would have called her had I known her number. Same piercing, hair cut, and facial features. Needless to say: IT WAS RAD.
Wait, so is “do work” what the kids are calling it these days. I’m too out of the loop…
‘Do work’ means ‘hold...
Ok technically I'm drunk tumbling since I woke up...
Since every motherfucker dropped one
Here’s my 2008 highlight list.
Hit a baseball (with a bat)
Broke some hearts/got heartbroken
Realized Jaime King is a burner
Got a tattoo
I tried.
That’s it. But I have high hopes for 2009. Going to Rosarito tomorrow for some penthouse party? This should be good. Writing again. This should be good. 2008 can suck my left dick. Move bitch, get out the way.
And the girl i liked found someone else. What a surprise.
You're a thing that I like.
I just got home and I have my first tattoo. Pics...
holy fuck, i totally dropped the ball on...
allthiscanbeyours:
is it cool if i skip it this week? i’m sort of in a lurking/not posting mood tonight. yerrrg.
Sade, man the fuck up.
Uh, please.
taco tuesday?
saintnate:
You know who you are.
I’ll be there. WITH MY NEW TATTOO.
holla tumblrsbabes →
hotg0ssip:
carlovely:
(via 17thsuitcase)
HOT TODDY
I feel so down and I don't know why. I've been...
Girl walks by patio, 2:30 pm.
You look like you’re lost in thought when your hair is up. Like an old photograph. The silence breeds mystery and I’d rather not know what you’re thinking. I’d rather not know a lot of things. What a surprise that strangers excite me.
“Growing old is criminal.”
– Last Tango In Paris
Before The Revolution
A: I'm in love.
B: Then it's a question of content, not style.
somuchsass:
theduty:hrrrthrrr:
[ chick...
tesslynch:
youngmanhattanite:
When Jewish teen magazines run anti-pot scare stories, mashiach must be very far away. And $200/week? Is that the going rate, Katie?
“After this experience, it didn’t take long for me to realize that most of the stereotypes associated with marijuana were true. I didn’t think I “got high” that first time and was therefore quite keen on doing it again. There was no...
hotg0ssip:
iammattjordan:
Jay-Z - Kingdom...
This might be a weak complaint but I really am...
saintnate:
(via lieslieslies)
Dude, don’t remind me. I’m holding out and I’m not even dating anyone. I just don’t want to think of my self-inflicted dry-spell.
You’re powering through. I ‘get around’ and still have been dry for probably over a month. I think I’ve lost my game.