January 2010
5
Five empty Camel boxes, five half empty water bottles, five jackets, five scraps of paper with directions on them. I need to clean my car.
1 tag
formspring.me
Where have all the cowboys gone?
We killed them. You know the other song she sang that was on Dawsons? It has literally been stuck in my head for 3 years. I sing it at least once a day. It’s so annoying. Ask anyone who knows. How does that happen?
Thoughts on the Grateful Dead?
Don’t really care. You’d think I would since I smoke so...
what the fuck? you’re engaged now? get a real job!
People are all up in arms about the pronunciation...
Really? Get a real job, man!
Boooooooooooooooooooorrrrriiinnnnngggggggggggggggg.
Happy New Years Eve to me
wipethatfaceoffyourhead:
Just bought the new barbacoa beef $5 footlong from Subway (so good), ate half of it, then puked it up. That’s what I get for drinking so much on New Years Eve Eve. God I hope I feel better by tonight. At least I still have half of that sandwich left.
This guy is a card carrying pussy.
He gave me a hug and said ‘I’m glad you’re my little big’ but I wanted to kick...
– My Big, on the topic of my brother at a bar last night. (via girlinport)
You know, I told everyone I was going to get shitfaced last night. So no one should have been surprised at my behavior.
December 2009
1 tag
We
are here for business. This is midwest drinking at it’s best. This is cold drinking. This is locking down, basement, near apocalyptic, mission control, only thing to do, time to forget, time to start, kind of consumption. So glad Tyler is here. So glad I’ll walk into a bar full of friends. So glad I’m around for this. People rule.
Christine Friar, can I be your beard?
There is a pack of wolves
youcankeepthechange:
hanging around outside my apartment complex, just howling and kicking it with each other. It’s kind of terrifying and also kind of intriguing. Like, I wonder what they’re talking about, you know?
‘Did youuuuuu see Avavtarrrr?’
‘Noooo, I can’t see in color so I feel like the effects would be lost on meeee’
‘Are you interested in having dinnnnerrr with meee?’
‘Why don’t we...
1 tag
christine friar, tryina get sum
If today is a good dick day, what is your dick like on a bad dick day? Does my HIV status have any bearing on whether or not you will make all of my wildest dreams come true tonight and every night from here on out? How do you feel about soulmates? What is your opinion on marriage via videochat? On a scale of one-to-turned-on, how turned on are you by every girl who follows you anonymously and...
1 tag
yeah yeah, i'll stop in just a second
Never stop talking about your dick!
Eliza, get off the internet.
take a shot for every formspringer from now on for new years! cheers!
For every formspringer? How about for every Jerry Springer episode?
You’re one of my tumblr crushes. It’s one of those things I think to myself and sadly accept when I see you on my dashboard. In “real life” we probably wouldn’t mesh....
She might lie to me but she's a great gal.
Molle: I am sooooo high right now. I also am having a low self esteem bubble. Compliment me. You are tall and have the figure of a dior homme model. Your turnn.
Me: Your boobs are alabaster clouds that I wish were my pillows.
1 tag
On the "Plight" of the Single Black Educated...
tanya77:
britticisms:
You are going to die alone! You will never be married! You will keep looking and find no one! You are doomed! The more education you get, the less likely you’ll end up with anyone! You should be thinking about this, constantly, even though you are only 22! You are too picky and should aim lower! Successful Black men don’t want you! Successful white men don’t want you!...
BONUS
Just realized my Rav4Crush looks like Katie Aselton with her hair up.
Jam. Jam. JAM! Just shut your faggoty ass mouth! Startin’ to piss me off.
– Detroit Rock City
1 tag
formspring.me
Doppelganger - Paul Dano. Nuff said.
Really? I’ve gotten a lot of ‘you look like this dudes’ before but this is a first. And I always thought he was kind of weird looking. Am I weird looking? Fuck I’m weird looking. Goddamnit.
does your mom know you’re gay?
Not yet. Waiting for Mother’s Day.
Ask me anything
1 tag
I admire/respect how much you refer to your dick, blowjobs, etc.
Please, step forward. And claim your prize.
Can I suck your sphincter?
I don’t know if I’d like that.
Ask me anything
1 tag
1 tag
formspring.me
Try not to S my S too much http://formspring.me/iluvbutts247
Stereotyping People by Their Favorite Indie Bands →
Spoon Bros who drink shitty beer without ironic intentions.
Fuck.
(ohheymary:indierawk:Pretty accurate, you’ll vom vom vom.Via Marky.)
1 tag
FADE IN:
INT. THE OCEAN
TWO MERMAIDS STRAIGHT DOIN’ IT.
You got stars on your hips, you got scars on your wrists. And I’m...
– JOFO
Suck my dick.
RE: this.
I’m still going to get upset about it. And there’s nothing you can do, ladies! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
ps- what do you think the ratio is of number of times I’ve said some variation of ‘suck it’ to how many times someone has actually sucked ‘it’? I’d say like, 500 to 1. At least.
1 tag
As I stalk the photographs
The age old question!
Is she fucking that dude?!
Katie Aselton in The Puffy Chair is really giving...
Feels good.
I may have either came or pissed ever so slightly while trying to stay alive...
– T-mesage from Gabe the night after heavy drinking.
1 tag
formfuckme
You are the owner of my favorite pair of hands. They are ridiculously sexy. The things I’d do to you… ‘Tis a shame I live on the east coast.
They’re always touching me. It’s pretty rad!
single? taken? any serious tumblr crushes?do you have a certain type of girl that gets you everytime (looks wise)?
Yes. No. I seriously want to fuck some tumblr users, of course....
He gonna make her awake!