February 2012
Raw Geronimo, Magnetic Love
I think you might...
Masculin féminin: The Young Man for All Times →
by Adrian Martin.
My favorite critical essay on Masculin féminin is online at the Criterion Collection’s website. Re-watching this film with Erika at The Silent Movie Theater last week reaffirmed my love for it and more importantly its importance today. It’s relatable in varied ways; from political distress to ~girl problems~. I highly recommend it and doubly recommend Martin’s...
January 2012
“I’m really picky.”
– Someone who has already decided the number of people she’ll bone before she ‘finds’ the one.
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Erotic Nightmare: A Noir Porno In Fragmented...
And: flash.
The bulb on the old-timey photographer’s camera popped and fizzed and the smoke never dissipated. It hung snugly from the ceiling and whispered to me thinly: D-V-N-O, four capital letters, printed in gold… The words cracked and faded but the bassline jumped the jewelry on the nightstand up and down.
I foreshadowed a stairway and was instantly walking down its steps, made of satin...
Notes on The Roommate (2011)
Minka Kelly’s character is totally fine with Volchok admitting to mass date rape.
Seven Grand is a banging nightclub.
Aly Michalka’s character’s name is Tracy Morgan.
Tracy.
Morgan.
Billy Zane plays a fashion professor.
Every girl in college is a model with perfect breasts.
Minka has a flip-phone.
That’s all. That’s all there is anymore.
Audacity, Twilight Zone
Whitesnake, Here I Go Again On My Own
Because not...
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My Oscar picks, 1/24/2012
Longest Morning Pee-Pee
Alan Hanson
Best At Putting On Pants
Alan Hanson
Best Gallon Milk Drinker
Alan Hanson
Best Stoned Non-Sensical Tweeting
Alan Hanson
Best Daydreaming
Alan Hanson
Best Sexy Daydreaming
Alan Hanson
Best Super Sexy Daydreaming
Alan Hanson
Best Masturbator
Alan Hanson
Best Substitute For Lunch
Whiskey
Best Fake Girlfriend
Peppy Miller
Gil Evans, Makes Her Move
Drafts
What Do You Mean I’m Your Friend? You’re Too Pretty!
Coffee Shop Etiquette: Is Your Mouth Fucking Shut Yet?
Blondes: A Tutorial In Skipped Heart Beats
You, Hipsters, White People, & Internet Sketch Comedy
How To Never See His One Act Play (And Come Out On Top!)
3 AM Nachos, 3 AM Nachos, The Secret Lives of 3 AM Nachos
The Art Of Secret Smiles: Were You Looking At Me Or That...
Me: What's the name of this band?
Gabe: What?
Me: This is Jet?
Gabe: Yeah.
Me: Jet sucks.
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Joanna Newsom, Peach Plum Pear
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The Hard Things
Recently a soft and astute human being told me that a positive side to a bad experience I had was that it makes me uniquely qualified to help someone going through something similar. This was yesterday. And I couldn’t help echoing this thought in my mind as I listened to Todd Glass give such a beautifully unique and touching perspective on hiding who you are, being gay, and coming out, on...
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Top Ten Shots From Ferris Bueller's 'Twist And...
In chronological order.
The dancers appear.
Vibrating Man.
Polka-dot Top Shaking Her Butt.
Elvis Hands.
Goofy Cameron.
Fuckin’ party baby.
AHHHHHHHHHHH!
I like this dude.
Groovin’ Mr. Bueller.
The Maedchen who jumps at Ferris (and all other shots of the float dancers).
Tips for Sundance
Maybe you’re about to board an airplane to Park City, Utah to wait in movie lines and try to scope Michael Fassbender’s dongpiece IRL. Here is some unsolicited advice from someone very unqualified:
At a high altitude like that you can get rip-roaring drunk off four or five drinks. So, uh, do that. A lot.
That hobo is not a ‘producer’ and he does not have a...
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“There is a great and perhaps decisive battle to be fought against ignorance,...”
– Edward Murrow
I know another medium threatened to be banished to a scabbard when it is needed most…