blackberryjewsqueeze:

This is Alexi Wasser. She runs www.imboycrazy.com. I sort of hate her whole schtick, not only because she’s basically ripping off my routine of being a guy trying to find love while getting schtupped in the meantime, but because of HER. She drives this boy crazy.

At first, I was intrigued by this little pixie hipster girl. I thought it was cool she was so brash about boys. I sort of felt like she was the female version of moi. However, there’s no originality to her whole vibe…it’s about periods and being a girl? Have we not seen MEAN GIRLS, CLUELESS, KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS and such? Molly McAleer is a much more interesting internet personality. Frangry should have her own show. She’s the female Hank Moody — you know, but with a vagina. 

I became raw about Alexi when she started doing Boycrazy radio, which is really her wack version of Teen Line. She has people calling in with REAL problems — bullying, wrist-cutters, sexually confused people. She is not a certified pyschotherapist! I’m not saying she has to be Dr. Drew, but can we have some cred? Look, if you want to talk about blowjobs, I’m all for it. That’s probably your wheelhouse; you’ve probably sucked a few dicks just to stay “controversial.” But serious problems? Oy…I wouldn’t want you putting bactine on my skinned knee. 

My biggest problem with her is that she’s just plain MEAN. In fact, she’s a terrific cunt. She constantly talks about how she doesn’t like fat people, or “FATTIES.” She is constantly reminding everyone that she is not fat. Let me tell you this, you skinny little fuck face, nobody, and I MEAN NOBODY thinks you are sexy. You are a twig in an Am Appy leggings and a horrible Silverlake haircut. Your eyes, while bluer than my Tumblr background, are all you have going for you. I would bet the farm that you have the tightest, driest vagina in the history of poontang. You know why? Because you never shut the fuck up about it. You are clearly insecure. I bet you have had more than one eating disorder in your life if you have such a deep-rooted hatred for people with a normal weight. Secondly, fucking chicks with a little extra cushion is great. Best 69 I ever had — with a girl who had a little more meat on the bone than, say, oh idonno some hipster cunt from Silverlake. Newsflash, Alexi: The Silversun Pickups suck and so do you. To quote American Beauty, “you were in SEVENTEEN once and you looked fat so stop acting like your goddamn Christie Turlington.” You’re so on your own brand that you’re basically a walking internet meme. Idiot.

My blog is not who I am. It’s schtick. As Brad Pitt said in Fight Club, “You’re not your fucking khakis.” 

Also, Alexi, your voice is like a rake on a chalkboard on top of a trainwreck being raped by 9/11. It’s no wonder you don’t speak in that Peppermint Patty commercial. Just sayin’.

SEE ALEXI, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU LIKE WHEN SOMEONE IS MEAN? HUH? DOESN’T FEEL SO GOOD. AND PS. I KNOW PEOPLE AT SHOWTIME (and every other company, Hollywood schmoozer, what what). IM GONNA MAKE SURE YOUR SHOW IS SHELVED FASTER THAN A TICKLE-ME-ELMO ON XMAS.

xoxo

Gossip Boy

There are so many ironic LOLs in this post that it’s a crime not to reblog it. Let’s give this lonely post some notes, buddies!

This post has 24 notes.
  1. shutupweirdo reblogged this from frangry and added:
    According to her, she does have her own show.
  2. frangry reblogged this from blackberryjewsqueeze and added:
    I’ve never seen Californication, but...similarities based solely
  3. lieslieslies reblogged this from blackberryjewsqueeze and added:
    many ironic LOLs...Let’s give this lonely post
  4. blackberryjewsqueeze posted this